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Articles added: July 1, 2009

Coach from the Couch: Week Fourteen in the NFL

By Dave Wiley

 

 

 

Similar to an aerobics class, there was a lot of clinching going on in the NFL this week. Of the eight divisions in the NFL, four are now decided. In addition to those four teams, another is in the playoffs and close to a division title. In the AFC, the two teams holding the lead in the wild card have eight or more wins. That eliminates the Dolphins, Jets, Chiefs, Ravens, and Raiders from any form of playoff contention. Teams hanging on by a thread include Cincinnati , Houston , and Denver . Teams outside looking in, but still in the thick of things are the Titans and Bills. In the NFC spots up for grabs are a lot more wide open. The 7-6 Minnesota Vikings cling to the low wild card spot, meaning no team with less than four victories could possibly squeak in at this point. That eliminates the Rams, 49ers and Falcons. Teams hanging on by a thread all standing at five victories include Chicago , Philadelphia , and Carolina . The field that is one game back is huge. The Saints, Lions, Cardinals, and Redskins all have a shot. Let's review. Twelve spots open. Five teams in. Eight teams out. Six hanging by a thread, but in all probability gone. That leaves thirteen teams still in the running for the other seven playoff openings. THAT is a lot of football left my friends. This week in the NFL everyone's office pool winner probably had at least thirteen correct picks, meaning straight up, twelve games were no brainer picks. Of the four remaining games in that pool, the only real upset was Houston beating Tampa Bay . Even that you could have probably predicted with Jeff Garcia on the bench nursing a sore back. San Diego / Tennessee ; Chicago / Washington and St. Louis / Cincinnati could go either way. All in all a feel good office pool week that STILL more than likely did not bring in any cash for Christmas gifts.


On to the Games!! - Lets talk about the clinchers of the week first. The Indianapolis Colts took on the Baltimore Ravens in a game that looked like it might shape up to be a good one. Baltimore came off a heartbreaking loss last week to the New England Patriots. Could they sustain that intensity two weeks in a row as they played the first and second best teams in the AFC back to back? NO!! Indianapolis blows out the Ravens 44-20. Peyton Manning throws for four touchdowns and 249 yards, Addai rushes for two, and catches one of the four, and the Colts move to 11-2 overall, dropping the Ravens to 4-9. The Colts clinch a playoff spot, and inch really close to a divisional crown.

Clincher number two - The Dallas Cowboys took on the Detroit Lions. The Lions have been cover-your-eyes awful the past few weeks, while the Cowboys just keep getting stronger. A blowout? NO!! Just the opposite. Detroit , in dire need of a victory, leads 27-14 with one quarter to go. Unfortunately, as a Detroit fan, the only cheer appropriate for the fourth quarter would be OH NO ROMO.. As Tony Romo rallies the Cowboys for two touchdowns, the final with eighteen seconds left, and Dallas squeaks out a 28-27 victory over the free falling Detroit Lions. To the Lions credit, they had this game in hand. Too bad the final score determines the actual outcome of the game, or they would have won. Dallas clinches the division at 12-1. Detroit drops to 6-7 and the 150 watt light bulb that signaled the brightness of their chances of going to the playoffs is replaced by a 75 watter.

Clincher number three - The Green Bay Packers manhandled the Oakland Raiders in a blowout worse than giving a six month old baby two gallons of prune juice. The game was close until the Packers were the only ones to score the ENTIRE second half, and they win 38-7. Oakland 's two game winning streak is history. Favre registers his 250 th straight start, looks no worse for wear from the separated shoulder of last week, and cheeseheads everywhere breath a collective sigh of relief and thank their lucky stars those blocks of cheddar on their head are not limburger, as that would really stink.

Pack clinch a playoff spot at 11-2. Raiders fall to 4-9.

Clincher Number Four - The Seattle Seahawks took on the Arizona Cardinals in a division match up that would A) help Arizona pick up a game on Seattle, or B) allow Seattle to clinch the division and severely hurt the Cardinals chances at a playoff birth. And the correct answer to this particular question is option B - Seattle clinches. Another blowout, 42-21, Seattle is on a five game win streak and one of the hottest teams in the league. They move to 9-4 overall, while the Cards drop to 6-7. Matt Hasselbeck throws for four TD's. Kurt Warner throws for three. The difference? Warner has five, count them, five interceptions in defeat. One more and you'd have to use another hand of fingers just to represent the interception total!!

Clincher Number Five - The New England Patriots took on the Pittsburgh Steelers in what looked like one of the only shots left at keeping the Patriots from going undefeated. Someone forgot to tell that the Pittsburgh though. The team appeared to stay in the locker room during the second half, and the Pats blow out the Steelers 34-13. They own their division and pretty much the league at 13-0. Pittsburgh drops to 9-4.

By the way, even though these games all fall in the Clincher category, some teams already had the division or playoff spots wrapped up prior to this week. In a armoire oversight, the coach from the couch hasn't mentioned these division lockups until this week, so if you live in some arctic area and only get couch-like internet updates on the NFL, this should catch you up. Additionally it is interesting that clincher and blowout described almost every game in the category. Clinching is typically associates with holding off some sort of blowout, not propagating it.

Speaking of Blowouts, let's just finish the purge - Jacksonville continues to be a quiet sneaky team that would be a nightmare of a wildcard to play sometime in the not so distant future. They stomp Carolina 37-6. Fred Taylor rushes for 132 yards and a TD, David Gerrard throws for two TD's and 230 yards, and Carolina has stats that are so miniscule you can't even mention one without thinking it is a typo. The Jags defense is something else. Jags are 9-4. Carolina is 5-8.

Blowout number, I lost count, just bring me some more underpants!! - Denver continues the blowout-fest with a 41-7 victory over hapless Kansas City . Jake Cutler goes 20/27 with four touchdowns. Brandon Marshall catches two of those touchdowns on ten catches for 115 yards. Selvin Young rushes for 156 yards and I know what you are thinking - Who is Selvin Young? Denver continues to traipse out running backs like they are manufactured in Denver . On the KC side, Brody Croyle has a horrible 132 yards as Tony Gonzalez catches 76 of them, and the Chiefs are embarrassed yet again. The Broncos are 6-7, fighting for their playoff lives. The Chiefs are wondering what is for breakfast on Monday at 4-9.

Blow, blow, blow your boat - Minnesota throws San Francisco over board and listens to them scream with a 27-7 lamb basting. The Vikings force five turnovers in victory. Adrian Peterson does not run for one bazillion yards for once; nonetheless the Vikes cruise to victory. They've won four games in a row and appear to be multi-dimensional at 6-7. Plus they have Adrian Peterson. San Fran hopes to cash in on a high draft pick at this point at 3-10.

Blown up - On the same day Michael Vick is sentenced to 23 months in jail for his participation in a dog fighting ring, the Atlanta Falcons get crushed again. A few players are shown supporting their fallen quarterback by wearing the number 7 somewhere on their persons. While Vick may be a nice guy in some respects and friends should support friends, you have to wonder about someone who publicly supports Vick after what he did. I would stand by my friends in their hour of need as well, but I certainly wouldn't do it on television. It will be interesting to see what the NFL does about this whole mess. Will Vick ever play again? Any how on to the game. Drew Brees has an incredible day with 328 yards passing and three TD's. Aaron Stecker, the Saints third running back, since the other two are hurt, rushes for 100 yards, and the Saints keep their playoff aspirations alive moving to 6-7. Atlanta drops to 3-10.

Roll on big 0 - Not only does Miami lose again, they are annihilated by Buffalo 38-17. Trent Edwards throws for four touchdown strikes, the Bills score three touchdowns in the first quarter, yet the other three quarters have to be played since there is no "UNCLE" rule in football. If you are a Miami fan, all I can say is, you beat New England week 15, and your season is saved!! Good luck with that. Buffalo is now 7-6 and has a huge match up against 8-5 Cleveland next week as they chase the Browns for the wild card. Miami is 0-13.

Who'd a thunk it? - Jeff Garcia is definitely a huge part of the success of the Buccaneers. Just a few short years ago, he looked pedestrian as the Cleveland Browns tried to force him into being a pocket passer. Fast forward to this year, he is a savior in Tampa. This week he sits yet again with a sore back as the Bucs have a chance to lock up the division. Houston has other ideas. They open the scoring and close the scoring, winning 28-14. Coach Gruden mentions Garcia should be back next week, and its not a moment to soon, even though Tampa does sit on a two game division lead at 8-5. Houston retains slim playoff hopes at 6-7.

Best Game of the Week - San Diego / Tennessee certainly looked like a battle, and neither team disappointed. Both needed a win, the Titans needing it worse as the Chargers division is, politically speaking, not so good. The Titans came out wanting it more and after three quarters, held a comfortable 17-3 lead. The Chargers roar back scoring two touchdowns, the last one with nine seconds to play, and send the game into overtime. LaDanian Tomlinson then demonstrated why he is the elite back in the league, running sixteen yards for the winning touchdown in overtime. Chargers win 23-17. Tomlinson has 146 yards rushing and 27 yards receiving, also tallying two of their touchdowns. So goes Tomlinson, so go the Chargers, yet no one can stop him. Chargers are 8-5. Tennessee takes a huge hit and drops to 7-6, falling one game back in the playoff hunt.

he Knights of Knees - Rex Grossman and Jason Campbell both started at Quarterback, and both left with knee injuries, Campbell appeared the worse for wear with a dislocated left knee cap. Brian Griese filled in for Grossman, Collins filled in for Campbell, and both had big games. The difference? Griese threw two interceptions and the Washington Redskins pick up a much needed victory over the Chicago Bears 24-16. They move to 6-7. The Bears meanwhile are 5-8 and their hopes for a playoff spot went from a 75 watt lightbulb to a keychain flashlight.

Cleveland in the Lead? Get outta town!! - The Browns have made a living this year coming back from the dead to win. This week they look like they have the game in the bag until the Jets start their onside kick-fest; doing so three times at the end of the fourth.

The Jets trailed 17-6, but score a touchdown with 2:59 to play. They go for two, miss, and trail 17-12. Onside kick, recovered by the Jets. Down by five, for some reason on a fourth and 10, the Jets choose to kick a field goal rather than go for it. Kick is up and good, but they have to complete another successful onside kick. Off it goes, the Browns Joe Jurevicius runs it back quite a ways, and Lewis has a tremendous run two plays later for the Browns touchdown. 24-15. Game over? Not so fast. New York drives again, kicking a field goal with 32 seconds left and setting up onside kick number three. Joe Jurevicius recovers for the second time in a row for the Browns, preserving the wild-ending victory. Browns move to 8-5. Jets are 3-10. Browns remain in the last wild card spot, one game up on the chasers.

And rounding out the field - The Giants beat Philadelphia 16-13. The Giants continue to puzzle. While their record is 9-4, it is difficult to judge how they match up against the other elite teams in the NFL. They aren't blowing out anyone. They seem to win by three when they play good teams or bad ones. They appear elite, but again, its hard to tell. The Eagles meanwhile, keep losing tough, dropping to 5-8 and hang by a thread in the NFC playoff picture. Finally St. Louis loses to Cincinnati 19-16. The Rams are3-10, the Bengals 5-8.

So ends another week in the NFL. Only three weeks remain in the regular season and playoffs are right around the corner. The holiday season is a great excuse to shop for extra potato chips and beer that you can use them up and replace numerous times prior to the actual holiday. It is also a great time to contribute to Toys for Tots, or give a dollar to your favorite homeless guy. It's a time to be thankful you are not a Miami Dolphins fan, unless of course you are a Miami Dolphins fan, then I would say you are thankful there are only three games left in the season. Its also a time to consider buying a larger screen TV for Super Bowl, pretending it is for the good of the family. Coach from the couch says "Ho, Ho, Ho" since is really is a laugh, but Santa has inexplicably had this taken away from his vocabulary as not to offend anyone one person who might consider this offensive. P.S. Little kids who believe in Santa PROBABLY have no clue of the negative connotations associated with "ho". If they do? Ooof. Can we in America say "Politically correct overkill?"

 

 

 
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