3 RD AND LONG WEEK 8

AARON KEEL

Hola! Welcome to another scintillating edition of Tres y Largo in honor of our dear friend Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson. Due to some technical difficulties (my computer sucks) last week's edition was scrapped leaving many of you feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied just like my job. But thanks to my own personal IT team or as I like to refer to them, my brother and father, I'm back like scoliosis. So smoke 'em if you got 'em cause here we go!

 

Tag 'Em & Bag 'Em (Best Hit) - LaDainian Tomlinson
Oshiomogho Atogwe say hello to L.T.'s stiff arm. The Rams safety found out the hard way that being in the way of Tomlinson and the endzone is probably the last place you want to be. Atogwe had his helmet literally ripped off by an L.T. stiff arm on Tomlinson's way to a 38 yard score in the first quarter. Next time just hit the deck buddy, or you'll find yourself being able to twist your neck with exorcist-like ability.

All Hallows Eve (Best Costume) - Ocho Cinco
Who else did you think was going to get this award? Chad, I mean Mr. Cinco stood on the sideline with the usual C. Johnson on his jersey replaced by "Ocho Cinco" before Carson Palmer ripped it off revealing the C. Johnson and the show was on. It was nice to see the "OC" doing his best to energize the Bengals in what has become a disappointing season.

Where's Waldo (Disappearing Act) - Pittsburgh Steelers Updated
This week on "Without a Trace" the gang continues on their investigation into the disappearance of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Investigator 1: "What do we have"?

Investigator 2: "We have a man who thinks he might be Ben Roethlisberger but he's not sure".

Investigator 1: "What do you mean, he's not sure"?

Investigator 2: "He says he's been hit in the head a lot and he doesn't know what team he's on. Something about throwing touchdowns to other teams".

Investigator 1: "Well keep on it; he's the only lead we have now."

 

Golden Douche (Worse Team) - Arizona Cardinals
Well it is now official; this is the worse team in the NFL. We all thought it was the Raiders but not only do the Raiders have more victories then the Cards but they have beaten the Cards. Arizona seems to have quit on Coach Dennis Green and the season, meaning all the goodwill the team had with its fans coming into the season is circling the drain. I guarantee that fancy new stadium will not be sold out next year and the majority of the fans that do show up will be cheering the other team just like the good ol' days.

Random Observations
MVP 1? - Is it possible that Peyton Manning is even better then he has been in the past? Methodical doesn't even begin to cover what he did to the Broncos vaunted defense on Sunday. Say what you will about pretty boy Tom Brady but Manning is without a doubt the best quarterback in the NFL and is on his way to another MVP.

MVP 2? - Unless Michael Vick has something to say about that. Already considered a dangerous weapon because of his speed and elusiveness, Vick can now add accurate passer to that resume. In his past two games Vick has passed for 7 touchdowns and over 550 yards giving defensive coordinators another reason to talk to their doctors about those sleepless nights. At this pace we might see the first QB pass for 3,000 yards and gain another 1,000 on the ground.

White Men Can't Jump - Brett Favre said that in all his time in Green Bay he had never done a Lambeau Leap. Well on Sunday after scoring on a 1 yard plunge that sealed the game against the Cardinals Favre tried a leap and came up a tad short. Rumor has it that the Packers will install little trampolines so the not so springy Favre can make it into the stands.

Temporary Insanity - This is what I will claim when I go on trial for killing singer John Mellencamp after hearing that f@#%ing Chevy commercial for the billionth time this weekend. Is it any wonder Chevy is losing money year after year?

 

Top 5 Power Teams
•  COLTS (7-0) Last Week (1) - Hey Denver ! Your "great" defense? It just got shredded for 34 by the best in the biz. Next Week - @ New England

•  CHICAGO (7-0) Last Week (2) - I was initially upset with Da Bears for trying to run up the score by scoring a TD right before the half. But then I realized that the touchdown was scored by my fantasy TE and all was forgiven. Next Week - Home Against Miami

•  ATLANTA (5-2) Last Week (NR) - Michael. Vick. Can. Throw. The. Ball. That's all I'm going to say. Next Week - @ Detroit

•  BALTIMORE (5-2) Last Week (NR) - Rumor has it police are questioning Ravens Coach Brian Billick concerning the death of Mother Teresa after his team had the audacity to beat the Saints in New Orleans. Next Week - Home Against Cincinnati

•  SAN DIEGO (5-2) Last Week (5) - Is it just me of have we started to take L.T. for granted? He's probably the only player who can run for 183 yards and score 3 touchdowns and make it seem ho-hum. Next Week - Home Against Cleveland

 

Game Of The Week

INDIANAPOLIS @ NEW ENGLAND - It doesn't get much better then this for football fans. Brady against Manning for the title of QB supremacy in the NFL. Manning and the Colts showed last year that they can beat the Pats, but can they do it again?

Weekly Picks

(Winners in Bold)

 

MIAMI @ CHICAGO

ATLANTA @ DETROIT

DALLAS @ WASHINGTON

HOUSTON @ N.Y. GIANTS

GREEN BAY @ BUFFALO

KANSAS CITY @ ST. LOUIS

CINCINNATI @ BALTIMORE

TENNESSEE @ JACKSONVILLE

NEW ORLEANS @ TAMPA BAY

MINNESOTA @ SAN FRANCISCO

DENVER @ PITTSBURGH

CLEVELAND @ SAN DIEGO

INDIANAPOLIS @ NEW ENGLAND

 

MONDAY NIGHT

OAKLAND @ SEATTLE

 

Last Week

9-4

 

Overall

35-19

54%

 

Now that we're at the halfway point of the season we should see the contenders separate themselves from the pretenders. Enjoy week 9.

 

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