Yo Mama

by Ivette Ricco

October 18, 2004

My hubbie says that the majority of sports brawls are prompted by the words, “Yo Mama”.

So it’s with interest that I noted that baseball, in its usual innocuous way has jumped on a different phrase as its “fighting words’, “Who’s Your Daddy”?

Pedro Martinez surely must rue the day he uttered “Who’s Your Daddy”, thereby prompting a s—t load of jokes, t-shirts and well, fun, for the baseball post-season.
And, naturally, since it was fun, and funny, MLB, just couldn’t abide the sacrilegious humor and promptly banned the sale of “Who’s Your Daddy” T-shirts at Yankee Stadium.

Now you can only buy these banned items on Ebay, or on the internet. But MLB in its infinite wisdom will not allow their name to be associated with such inappropriate humor.

Hogwash!

Perhaps this is another reason why football fans often disdain the nation’s pastime. The nations’ pastime is apparently past its primetime.

Yes Yankee haters, if it wasn’t for the Bronx Bombers who the heck would care about the postseason?

Ok the Red Sox fans are always a hoot especially with the “curse” drums beating as loudly as the Raiders’ conspiracy theory primal scream.

But do you really care about the Houston Astros and the Boston Red Sox in the World Series? I don’t think the networks are too excited about that match-up either.

I dare say the Yankees vs. the Cardinals are a better TV value.
Anytime you put the Yankees in the World Series, ratings jump, perhaps due to the passion of both the Yankee fans and the Yankee haters.

The “Who’s Your Daddy” story is second only to the Francisco chair-tossing incident in Oakland in terms of “ink” value for baseball. For MLB, however, it should be preferable to the BALCO never-ending saga and its far-reaching effects.

So let the fans have some fun. Let fans jeer the players as long as they don’t cross that line. And what is that line that cannot be crossed?

It’s not the uttering of “Who’s Your Daddy”, oh no, if you really want a brawl all you need are the true incendiary fighting words, “Yo Mama”.

George Carlin: Baseball Vs. Football:

Football has tackling, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting, sacking, and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has . . . the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather--rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog, major catastrophe, can't see, don't know if there's a game going on, mud on the field, can't read the uniforms, can't read the yard markers--doesn't matter, the struggle will continue.
In football, the object is for the quarterback, sometimes called the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which may consist of power plays designed to punch holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball, the object is to get home . . . safe.

Baseball’s fighting words, “Who’s Your Daddy”?
Football’s fighting words: “Yo Mama!”

Yo Mama

Made a buzz on this site called URWrong.
Stupid one-liners pretending to be songs
Do Wah Diddy Diddy
Does no good when they whine and we win
Does no good when we give it a mean spin
What the hell is on their teeny weeny minds?
Do Wah Diddy Diddy

They booed me, and tried to talk nastily.
So Who’s Your Daddy- Diddy?
Tryin' to defend GW Bush from my parodies.

They squirmed and squawked and they meekly cried "no more"
They squawked on – silly boys
They are pissed, and they are sore.
So Just Who Is Your Daddy – Diddy?

Say what you all want about me
I don’t give a hoot
Just remember to love me
And if you don’t I’ll beat you good
”Cause If you’re good to Mama - Mama will be very good to you
Do Wah Diddy Diddy – Daddy Do.

Football’s fighting words! Yo Mama!

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.

Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.

Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.

Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.

Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.

Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

Baseball’s Fighting Words: Who’s your Daddy?

Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the Bush administration. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

I do not know who the father of my child was as all jocks look the same to me. I can confirm that he wore a Royal Green Jacket.

Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney Land - maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Emeril did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party I might have remained unfertilized.

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Do Wah Diddy Diddy.

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