Boys will be Boys:
And Ball Girls and Ball Boys will be Fashion Models

by Ivette Ricco, President of Femmefan.com

October 25, 2004

Our fearless investigative reporter, Wanda Yikes has been sent where no other investigative has gone before.
She has interviewed the combative Joan Rivers and Rosie O’Donnell, she has spent long hours locked in a Motel Six with angry Football fans and the inimitable Hong Kong Ricky Martin aka Willy “ She Bangs” Hung.

That’s a tough act to follow.
This time we gave her a prime assignment, after all poor Wanda has been getting the shaft when it comes to freelance work for Femmefan.com

Wanda was sent to Madrid , Spain to cover the broohaahha caused by models being used to chase down tennis balls during the Masters Series.

Naturally we put up Wanda in the finest hotel, gave her an unlimited expense account and sent her to Spain with a good Spanish/English dictionary.
In addition, we gave her an “in” on the whole broohaahaa, an exclusive interview with the Queen of Tennis, Billie Jean King .

 

WY:
Oh boy, it took me friggin forever to get just to JFK. I took a Jet Blue redeye from California to New York and then I had an 8 hour layover. The “boss” said this trip would be first class, but I sat in the last row right by the bathroom. Pheeyew.
Oh well, I guess I’ll order a Bloody Mary to relax, we’ll be in Spain in about 6 more hours. Femmefan gave me an envelope with some mad money.
Let’s see how much cash they out in my envelope.

Mother Smucker , there’s a lousy $20.00 bucks in here.
Spit, Spit, Spit!

Okay fine. I’m gonna make the best of this situation. After all how often does a sista get a chance to go to Spain and interview Billie Jean King ?

Hey steward..ah..ess (what do they call these people now-a-days?)
Can you please bring me a double Bloody Mary?

I think I better read up on this whole ball girl/model thing. I don’t know nothin’ about tennis except for Serena Williams .

Ah here’s a story on it:

The Masters Series Madrid event has taken the novel step of employing models to act as ballgirls next week.
Instead of using youngsters from local tennis clubs, the organisers have recruited 25 female models, aged between 19 and 27, to do the job, despite the fact that some do not know much about the sport.
"Before taking them on court to practice, we have shown them a bit about the sport, how you play, what a 'set' is, what a 'game' is and an ace," explained their coach Julio Nieto.

"They will add beauty, but we still have to work on a lot of details so everything works smoothly.

"The important thing is for them not to disrupt the rhythm of the game or distract the players," he added.”

Oh yeah right!

The models are sponsored by Hugo Boss, the famous designer who will also supply their clothes for the event.”

Okay, so far so good. The models will be chasing the balls wearing Hugo Boss threads, so what’s the problema?
Ah here’s another whiner.

Beware hockey's Zamboni drivers, football's yardstick handlers, baseball's bat boys and basketball's water boys. Your future could be threatened by what is happening in Madrid. Organizers of this week's ATP Masters Series event there have decided to dispense with ballboys and ballgirls and replace them with female models.

Do tournament organizers, have a real understanding of the qualities and training required to be a competent ballboy or ballgirl?

Come on, get real!

For decades at events the world over, ballboys and ballgirls have scampered across tennis courts scooping up balls and then distributing them with dexterity and purpose. And, one might add, they are generally inconspicuous.”

Dexterity and purpose! Bull….

It is easy to imagine shapely but unathletic models awkwardly crossing to pick up balls from first serves that land in the net. Similarly, will they have the co-ordination to throw, catch and move balls around with the skill of a practised ballboy or ballgirl?” Skill? My dog can chase balls as good as anybody. Days can be long, and even if crews are rotated every hour or so, will the models be able to maintain the concentration needed to operate efficiently? It is easy to imagine a Masters Series Madrid model caught daydreaming instead of tossing a ball to Ivan Ljubicic, Dominik Hrbaty or Tim Henman when they are serving.” ZZZZZ..oops sorry, I was daydreaming while the balls were whizzing past my head. The vast majority of those selected reportedly had no idea of the meaning of a game, a set or an ace. "Most are starting from zero," said Julio Nieto, the man in charge of training the models. Zero, isn’t that Love in tennis talk? ”I t's not going to be perfect," Nieto summed up, "but I'll be happy if things turn out well and there are no protests from the players. Although, personally, I think that with such beautiful girls, the players are going to be distracted. Ya Think? The man reported to be responsible for the farcical idea of models as ballgirls is tournament organizer Gérard Tsobanian. " We wanted something new," Tsobanian told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo. " This is not machista. We want to have a women's tournament here also. For that, we would use male models." Okay now we’re talking. When does that start? Tsobanian, a Frenchman who is Marat Safin's agent, has also worked with retired Goran Ivanisevic. " Maybe I should ask for a wild card," Ivanisevic said jokingly on hearing about the models while playing a senior tour event in the Netherlands last week. "But I wouldn't be able to play. I would just want to take [telephone] numbers." I like this Ivanisevic! The models, who will be paid about 900 euros ($1,400 Canadian) for the week, will be taking the places of keen, young volunteers from local tennis clubs. They are kids who would have been following in the footsteps of illustrious former ballboys and ballgirls such as Federer, Roddick, John McEnroe and Hana Mandlikova. Oh…tooo baddd… Tennis fans, and the curious, may want to tune in for the comic relief offered by the ballgirls. Curious that’s me. “For all the sexy women and goofy pratfalls viewers will probably see, the concept is an affront to the integrity of the game and, more so, to the long and honorable tradition of youngsters working as ballboys and ballgirls at tennis tournaments. “ Oh get over it already. Agassi did.

Former world number one Andre Agassi has supported the decision to hire female models as ball-girls for the Masters Series in Madrid .

The girls, all professional models in their late teens and early 20s, have been working at the Rockodromo during night matches.

"I think it's something different, isn't it? They certainly look good from where I've been sitting," said second-seed Agassi.

"It was difficult, to say the least, to concentrate on the ball. But I suppose I had an advantage. I'm used to playing with my wife."

 

Whoa, back-off on that sexy talk Andre !

With their long slit skirts, it's the bending over which seems to pose the biggest problem as ball girls tend to be outfitted in shorts.

"The skirts look like they're a little difficult to run in - I think they need to be shorter maybe," Agassi said.

You go baldie!
But the Spanish government has claimed the idea demeans the position of women.

What position are they referring to?

Spain's Secretary of State for Equality, Soledad Murillo, said: "They are fermenting a clear discriminatory vision, it's the sexual use of the image of women." Top seed Tim Henman said he can't see what the fuss is about.

"It's all getting a bit serious, isn't it?" said the Briton after being told about Murillo 's complaint.

Spain 's Albert Costa said there was no issue.

"I haven't been influenced at all. In my opinion, they're doing well," he said.

"I think we're talking too much about it, too much gossip. The goal of this new idea is to offer a show, but I don't think it's sexist.

"But the girls are the ones to answer this question, how they feel. That's up to them."

The girls need to answer this question? Okay.

Finally, I’ve arrived in Madrid .
I’m a little nervous about meeting Billie Jean King , after all she’s a star and I don’t know how she’ll feel about this whole “issue”.

Well first I’ll check into my five star hotel and relax in a hot bath before I go meet Ms. King.
Well horse sh-- this ain’t no five star hotel. It’s more like a five roach motel. Damn if the “boss’ hasn’t screwed me yet again.
Oh well, I’ve got a job to do and I intend to do it.

I have a 6 o’clock appointment with Ms. Billie Jean King and it’s 6:10 now. Please dear lord don’t tell me she’s going to stand me up!

Oh here she comes, I am so damned nervous.

Hi, I’m Wanda Yikes , Ms. King, I’m so happy to meet you.

BJK: Hi, I’m told that you want to know what I think about the models being used at the Masters as Ball Girls and Ball Boys, is that right?

WYL Yes, ma’am, female fans all over the world want to know if you think this is a cheap-sexist-demeaning publicity stunt?

BJK: Yes, and I love it. I just wish I was still playing with all those hotties chasing balls in short skirts for me.

Thank you.
Until next time this is Wanda Yikes signing off for Femmefan.

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