The 49ers .49 cents Extreme Makeover

by Ivette Ricco, President of Femmefan.com

September 5, 2004

Time to lock the doors, pull down the blinds and turn on the answering machine. Time to take a long hard look at the NFL in general, and my favorite team, the Forty Niners, specifically. Time to pour myself a double shot of Stoli.

Betting on the NFL has become a gambler’s dream, or nightmare, depending on your point of view. The cap-enhanced parity-friendly system has turned the NFL into a total crapshoot.

Just about every team is considered a legitimate contenda’.

And then we have the 49ers’ .49 cent Extreme Makeover.

I have loyally watched every 49ers preseason game every lousy one. These “exhibition” games are merely warm-ups, and auditions I tell myself. Shouldn’t take them too seriously, shouldn’t let the fact that they lost to the Chargers, and looked bad doing it, upset my stomach.

Normally I wouldn’t put much stock in the results of these games, but this preseason I found myself desperately searching for a positive sign from this new breed of Forty Niners. I kept waiting for the sudden emergence of something resembling the next Joe Montana or the next T.O.

But no, I just kept hearing Simon and Garfunkle singing, “Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio”, in the recesses of my mind.

Those who follow the NFL are aware that the .49ers have opted to wipe the slate clean, erase all the dead cap money, release veteran players, and field a team of inexpensive and inexperienced young men, but are they inept, ah, that is the question.

Poor Dennis Erickson. Can you imagine his excitement when he was offered the 49ers head coaching job? The storied team, winners of Five Super Bowls, a team with Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens, a team with an improved young defense coached by Jim Mora. Imagine his plans for running plays with Garrison Hearst in the backfield and Derrick Deese on the offensive line.

Imagine his optimism as he took over a playoff team from the effusive Steve “Mooch” Mariucci.

This time things would be different in the NFL. This time he was ready.

He wanted to prove that he got a raw deal in Seattle and what better way to return to the NFL than as the coach of a pretty good Niner team?

In 1998 Erickson was fired for the first time in his coaching career because the Seahawks didn’t make the playoffs, in spite of some DeBartolo-like lavish spending by owner Paul Allen on free agents. In four seasons as coach of the Seahawks, he compiled a 31-33 record.

Erickson’s Seahawks
Year	Team	W	L	T	Pct.
1995 1996 1997 1998	Seattle Seattle Seattle Seattle Totals	8 7 8 8 31	8 9 8 8 33	0 0 0 0 0	.500 .438 .500 .500 .484

Ha!

As Yogi Berra said, “It’s déjà vu all over again.”

Only this time there will be no lavish spending on free agents, there will only be careful and fiscally responsible acquisitions. This time the load will be carried by a bevy of rookies. The upside? They are young and learning, and cap friendly. The downside, they are young and learning.

After one season of mop up work, Dennis has been handed the unenviable task of rebuilding the franchise with chewing gum, duct tape and .49 cents.

The once mighty San Francisco Forty Niners are undergoing an extreme makeover.

If I were handed the reins to this organization, I would take a page from the sexy plastic surgeons on Nip/Tuck, and ask the Niners, “Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.”

Well let’s start with the quarterback situation. Tim Rattay is an unproven commodity, and he’s backed up by two other unproven commodities. Then there are the wide receivers, and the offensive line, and well, you get the picture. Hell, Doc, just start at the top and work your way down, it all could use a little nip and tuck.

So why not throw the young guys into the fire and see who survives?

Ya’ never know if another Tom Brady might be sitting on the bench.

But pairing 3 inexperienced quarterbacks with inexperienced wide receivers and a less than cohesive offensive line, well that’s downright radical, man.

A franchise once known for its generosity and excessive spending habits has become a bean counter’s dream.

The new philosophy is “watch the bottom line, after all isn’t that the same formula used by the Patriots and the Eagles? And gee haven’t they done pretty well?”

According to General Manager Terry Donahue, “The objective is to make sure financially we’re cap healthy, so we can win for a longer period of time” “We’re convinced the only way you can do that is to be cap healthy”.

“We do have a strategy” “We can’t be affected by crowd noise. You just have to play through the crowd noise.”

Mr. Donahue has set the 2006 season as the target date for the new and improved San Francisco Forty Niners. Will this strategy succeed? Will this new philosophy send the Niners back to the Super Bowl and give them their sixth Super Bowl Trophy? For Forty Niner fans it’s been a long and frustrating 11 years since their last Super Bowl appearance in 1995.

As the Niners climb out of salary cap hell the only crowd noise Mr. Donahue may hear is the sound of Forty Niner Faithful exiting Candlestick Park (oh by the way all the signs still say 3Com) and heading for the hills.

As for me I’m anxiously waiting for the final “reveal”

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