The Jester's Quart: Take a Bite Out of Cooperstown

by Greg Wyshynski
"The Jester's Quart"

June 25, 2004

Fred McGriff closing in on 500 home runs is the best thing to ever happen to Cooperstown.

Oh, no, he won't be enshrined in that quaint little village's National Baseball Hall of Fame. He can visit the museum, just like me or Steve Jeltz or Oddibe McDowell can. But he isn't good enough to actually have a plaque in that beautiful vestibule of legendary talents; not by any reasonable standard of excellence.

Of course, those who have a vote for such honors have been anything but rational. The standards for the Hall of Fame seem to change with each class, and the prestige of enshrinement is diluted with each good-for-his-era, pseudo-legend (paging Gary Carter) that earns his place in the Hall.

Fred McGriff is the best thing to happen to Cooperstown because he has - finally - instigated debate about who is, and who is not, a Hall of Famer. Do 500 home runs automatically earn you enshrinement? If that number no longer offers immortality - because of the offensive surge in baseball caused by poor pitching, bat-friendly modern ballparks and both juiced balls and players - what about 1,600 RBI? Or a .320 career batting average, a mark that no less than eight current players are either ahead of or are within a reasonable distance?

McGriff's flirtation with the '500 Club' has injected terminology into the HOF debate that is typically ignored by the voters. Words like "impact," "star-quality," and "historical significance." McGriff is the first in what will be an unending line of consistently good hitters, with Hall of Fame credentials, who never once transcended the game like the true legends of baseball have.

Both writers and fans, for the first time, seem to be taking a critical look at exactly what kind of players merit the still-prestigious honor of enshrinement. Alan Schwarz, a columnist for ESPN.com, slammed McGriff has having "never once [been] considered one of the top three players in his league, according to the MVP voting."

Now, consider the fact that Wade Boggs - a sure Hall of Famer - also never made the Top 3, as well as the fact that it's an award for the player most valuable to his team, not for "the top player in the league." But Schwarz felt so passionately about McGriff being a less-than-worthy candidate for the Hall that this is the kind of desperate attack he resorts to.

It's about damn time.

I'm what you call a strict constructionist of the Baseball Hall of Fame. The official mantra of the Hall is "Preserving History...Honoring Excellence...Connecting Generations." I hold that middle promise to a nearly unachievable standard, one that would probably pare the rolls of inductees down by two thirds. Because you can't preserve history or connection generations if you're willing to settle for a parade of good-but-not-greats, just so the museum is guaranteed one big weekend every summer.

(And don't think that doesn't play a role. The last year the baseball writers didn't elect a new member for the Hall was 1971. Cooperstown is now a summer resort town, only with a Bench instead of a beach. A summer without a writers'-endorsed induction would be like the Jersey Shore trying to turn a profit without opening the boardwalk.)

To be in the Hall of Fame is to be in the same room as Ty Cobb. Or Babe Ruth. Or Walter Johnson, Honus Wagner and Christy Mathewson. Those five faces stare at you from the back of the room as you walk into the Hall of Legends, all thinking the same thing: "What the f--k is Don Sutton doing over there?"

To be in the Hall of Fame (well, my Hall of Fame at least) is to have the required statistical milestones, to have the required accolades (a batting title here, a Cy Young Award there, more Gold Gloves than you have fingers), and, most importantly, to have transcended all of it to become bigger than your peers, bigger than your team, and bigger than baseball itself.

The five players in the first class achieve that lofty standing. So did Hank Aaron, Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, Bob Gibson, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial, Ted Williams, Mike Schmidt, Steve Carlton, Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan, Cal Ripken, Dennis Eckersley, and Ozzie Smith, for starters. So do Tony Gwynn, Rickey Henderson, Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, Mariano Rivera, Greg Maddux and Barry Bonds. Start with these folks, add a few here and there, and then evict the rest.

The question you have to ask yourself as a fan (and the question, based on recent history, the Baseball Writers' Association of America refuses to answer) is whether 'Player X' is worthy of having his name added to the short list above.

Simply put: There are good players, great players and Hall of Fame players. Tony Perez was good. Dave Winfield, Eddie Murray and Robin Yount were great - no shame in that. But few players, much less than have been or will be inducted, are truly Hall of Fame players.

As Schwarz wrote in his ESPN column: "The Hall of Fame is not for outstanding players who flame out quickly. It isn't a rest home for very good players with longevity. And it isn't even about numbers. It is about knighting the most elite players the game has ever seen."

So will Schwarz and his ilk take this hard line when players like Jim Thome, Gary Sheffield, Carlos Delgado, and Manny Ramirez are up for a vote? Will they look at the impact of the player, and his place in the great tradition of the game, rather than his artificially inflated numbers?

I think Fred McGriff was the catharsis the baseball writers have been searching for. It's finally opened their eyes to the fact that players who have all the numbers, but none of the intangibles or historical significance, don't belong on the same wall as Babe Ruth and Ted Williams.

And just in time, too.

Harold Baines is on the ballot in 2007.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

New Jersey selects Viktor Khryapa. Los Angeles drafts Sasha Vujacic. Dallas takes Vassilis Spanoulis.

New Jersey selects Zach Parise. Los Angeles drafts Brian Boyle. Dallas takes Brandon Crombeen.

Now, which one is the 2004 NBA Draft and which one is the 2003 NHL Draft?

Take your time.

Listen, I don't want to kick a league when it's down, but I actually felt pity for the ESPN crew doing this year's NBA entry draft. High school kids that aren't ready, college players no one's ever heard of, and a bunch of guys who sound like they just escaped from a Gulag. How hard do you think Stephen A. Smith and Tom Tolbert had to work to maintain their level of mock-coolness while breaking down what Beno Udrih will mean to the Spurs this season?

How hard has the NBA fallen?

2004 top three: Dwight Howard, Emeka Okafor, Ben Gordon. 1994 top three: Glenn Robinson, Jason Kidd, Grant Hill

"The last time you'll ever see this young man smile."

To the surprise of no one, two of the Utah Jazz's three first-round picks were Caucasians.

I don't want to say the Jazz have a load of white dudes on their roster, but it's a good bet that no matter who they sent out to guard him, Larry Bird would have been insulted.

Infant twins Jade and Erin Buckles, of Woodbridge, Va., had been joined from their chests to their abdomens before a surgical procedure separated them. Their doctors said this week that the children are healthy and can probably look forward to leading normal lives.

Well, save for the whole "one gets hurt but the other one feels the pain" thing.

American tennis star Venus Williams was upset by Croatia's Karolina Sprem at Wimbledon this week.

Venus's opponent was hitting the ball well; her serves were literally like an explosion of Sprem.

She was also moving well; there were times when the court appeared to be completely covered by Sprem.

After the match, Williams was gracious in defeat, which was nice to see; no one wanted Sprem to leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

Finally, a quick shout to all the folks who dug the Speedball column last week. Nothing really Mailbag worthy, but glad to know there are a lot of you who love the spilled blood, sprained ankles and broken glasses of high-school P.E as much as I did.

Published on the web since 1997, "The Jester's Quart" is a weekly satirical look at sports, pop culture and why NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is a jackass. Columnist Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. Email Wyshynski at jestersquart@hotmail.com.

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