Dude – She’s An Arctic Cougar!

By Ivette Ricco

February 20, 2006

 

How ancient are you feeling as you watch the 2006 winter Olympics?

No, that’s not the wind blowing outside I hear, it’s the creaking of my old bones as I watch these kids, yes, they are kids, talented, athletic, charismatic, kids flying thru the air with the greatest of ease.

So young; so vibrant; so damn young! This is face of America in the year 2006.

I have discovered that I now am classified as an Arctic Cougar, in snowboarders terms that is. If you have been waiting to find an athlete you can relate to, well, you might still be waiting. I suppose that’s what happens when your twenties are just a cob-webbed, wine-soaked memory.

I watch these athletes swoosh down the slopes with the sensibilities of a hard-working, snow-plowing skiing enthusiast, a beginner-intermediate skier 35 years in the making.

Enthusiasm doesn’t translate to excellence, that is unless you consider skiing once a year on the easy runs at Heavenly Valley in South Lake Tahoe, a gauge of competence.

When I watched Lindsey Kildow go flying, spread-eagled on the hill, I felt her pain.

But when I watched Shaun White make his way thru a snowboard run, I suddenly realized why us old folks are home with our feet up and the remote cradled firmly in our wrinkled hands. Grab the Ben-Gay honey and rub my back!

The Torino Olympics has not been the sure fire ratings the Olympics should be, much to NBC’s chagrin. American Idol beat the Olympics head to head, and new episodes of regularly scheduled programming on other stations have done a number on what should be the eagerly awaited and watched 2006 Winter Olympics.

Why is that?

Some say it’s because the biggest ratings getter, figure skating, has no American stars now that Michelle Kwan has pulled out.

Perhaps Bode Miller was saddled with higher than normal expectations entering these Olympics and nothing short of skiing with a flask in his hand and a pair of panties on his head could rival his media notoriety. As it turned out Bode had some problems on the slope. Maybe skiing with a little hangover isn’t such a bad thing after all.

How do you explain the hot dogging of Lindsey Jacobellis that cost her gold?

And what about “Skating Diva” Johnny Weir – who moaned and groaned after he missed his bus and the gold.

The biggest stars in these Olympics are the youngsters on “boards”.

And their fans are as likely to switch over to American Idol and download the highlight videos to their IPod or their laptops instead of watching hour after hour of winter sports they can’t relate to. I hate to say it but even a seasoned Olympic watcher such as I can understand why the young “dudes and “dudettes” might turn away when the Olympics’ pace bogs down and the “back-stories” are featured, or the tape-delayed events’ results are already known.

Consider it a generational thing, because as a matter of fact the “back stories” are one of my favorite Olympic features. But for the Flying Tomato fans out there, I hazard to guess, well, not so much.

Danger + Speed + Snow + Ice + Lycra = Drama.

It’s us old timers (and that includes everyone over the age of 25!) who are still thrilled by the built in danger and the purity of spirit embodied in the Olympics.
When danger meets speed, ice and snow and when there is a real possibility of injury and mayhem, I’m riveted. When it’s us, the USA against, them, I’m patriotic.
But we haven’t gotten much in the way of spell binding, moving and exhilarating performances from our American athletes in these Olympics as of yet.

However, the snowboarding competition did get my attention.
In the 2002 Olympics it was Apolo Anton Ohno who made me hold my breath as I watched him skate with skill and fearlessness. Speed skating knocked me out in 2002. I watched in awe as these young men in skin tight Lycra skating at ridiculous speeds “roller derby” style. One slip, one crash, one wrong move and you are done! I loved the drama and the finality of it all.

The snowboarding competition has a similar yet different allure. I like the controlled recklessness of these young athletes. They seem to be having a hell of a good time out there. But mostly I love the baggy outfits, the whirly birds in the air, the vocabulary and “sub-culture” that has grown out of this hybrid sport.
Snowboarding has had a lot of air time on NBC in these Torino Olympics, clearly due to the dominance of American athletes in this sport.

And being the curious person that I am, I was intrigued by this hybrid sport.

Hip-hop is urban cool and has a language all its own. Snowboarders are the hip hoppers of the slopes. Nothing says old age like trying to understand the conversations of our younger generation and the “boarders” have a language all their own.

Here’s my favorite.

Artic Cougar

An old lady who goes for really young guys on the slopes and in the lodge

Yeah, I can relate to that!

Some others are:

Beef

A wipe-out; another word for biff. Ex: "Dude, I beefed that one so badly!"

Beef has a different meaning to me and it has nothing to do with cooking.

Betty

A girl who can't ride (a poser who is a girl). Characteristics include: a Roxy snowboard, sideslipping through park, flirting, being loud and obnoxious, matching jacket, pants, hat, etc.

I know quite a few of these Bettys also known as Snow Bunnies or Boobs.

Blue Bird

A beautiful day. e.g. "Cuttin' the pow pow on a blue bird day."

Beauty is beauty in any language

Fancy Pants

Some old fart of a two-planker that's wearing snowpants from the 80s - the one that's like hunting while skiing or making a hippy statement.

Oh horror of horrors, I move away fro these Fancy Pants as fast as possible.

Flamboyant Weezy

What a snowboarder looks like after he has been drunk or stoned, goes off a jump, and hits a tree or pole at full speed.

I’ve seen some Bettys, Arctic Cougars and Fancy Pants in the same condition.

For a full snowboarding language dictionary here.

How did snowboarding get its start?

Did a California blonde Gidget meet a cool skateboarding dude and conceive a bouncing, jumping, snowboarding prodigy? The Flying Tomato may be proof positive of that.

According to “boarding” folklore Sherman Poppen fixed two skis together for his daughter to use and “surf” down the snowy hillside outside their Michigan home.

The new invention became known as the “Snurfer”.

By the 1980’s there were a handful of companies producing snowboards.

In the mid-eighties snowboards began to emerge on the ski slope-ups.

These “daredevils” would come screeching down the slopes in baggy clothes. I know because I eyed them with disdain and fear and would immediately get out of their way!

These early boarders were, by and large, young male adolescents. Naturally they acted like young male adolescents and thus the boarders’ image was forged, the bad boys of the slopes.

In the year 2000, snowboarding was the fastest-growing sport in the US with an increase of 51.2 percent in the number of people who went snowboarding from the previous year, with a total of just over 7.2 million participants.

In its short 40 year history snowboarders currently make up 25% of all winter sports participants.

If you want to immerse yourself in the world of snowboarders all you need to do is spend a few days at The Block, the place for snowboarders to kick back in South Lake Tahoe. It’s a motel designed to make the snowboarder feel right at home, starting with the DJ spinning tunes in the lobby and the free beer for the guests. They even have a wax room the better to care for your boards, dude.

Check it here.

There’s an entire industry built around snowboarders, their lifestyle, equipment and especially the apparel with urban trends definitely influencing snowboard apparel styles. Take a peek here.

At the start of these 2006 Olympics I found myself lying side by side with Rachel, my precocious seven year old granddaughter. I explained the Olympics and its meaning to her. She listened intently, asked questions and then fell asleep by my side as we watched the snowboard competition. My ten year old grandson was more interested in watching a video.

They will be 11 and 14 respectively when the 2010 Olympics take center stage in Vancouver, will they even bother watching?

This Artic Cougar hopes to be around and still rooting for Team USA, dude.

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