NFL Week Two – What goes up….must come down…
The NFL Law of Parity

By Ivette Ricco

September 20, 2005
9/23/05: Week Three Fearless Femmefan Picks Follow at the end!

According to the well-known story Isaac Newton saw an apple fall in his orchard at some time during 1665 or 1666. It was at that time that Newton conceived that the same force governed the motion of the Moon and the apple.

Probably the more correct version of the story is that Newton, upon observing an apple fall from a tree, began to think along the following lines: The apple is accelerated, since its velocity changes from zero as it is hanging on the tree and moves toward the ground. Thus, by Newton's 2nd Law there must be a force that acts on the apple to cause this acceleration. Let's call this force "gravity".

I have discovered the law of parity. I watched a football team fall out of the sky and conceived that the same force governed the full moon, tsunamis and football.

The average football team’s fate is accelerated, since its velocity changes from zero (or last place) and its future hangs in the balance, governed by the forces of money, contracts, and salary caps.
The fate of the football team is thereby affected by forces out of the control of the coaches or the players. This phenomenon is known as the Law of Parity and thus, by Ricco’s 1st Law there must be an outside and financial force that acts on the football team to cause this acceleration.
To reach the top of the NFL, parity comes into play and controls the acceleration or equal and opposite de-celeration or decline of each football team in direct relation to the whims of the salary cap.
Makes perfect sense to me.

As I write this week two recap I realize that I have gone from a “fair” picks record of 8-8 in week one, to 4-10 with two games still being played in week two. The best I can do this week is a very mediocre 6-10.

I am feeling the pain of many an NFL team as last week’s winners became this week’s losers and vice versa. As Newton proved when he let the apple fall from the tree, what goes up, must come down.

Bengals 37, Vikings 8

How bout them Bengals!

Carson Palmer has come of age, and perhaps the same may be said about the Bengals, previously known as the Bungals.
Cincy routed the flailing Vikings 37-8 and made Daunte Culpepper look more like Dr.
Pepper with bad eyesight tossing five, count ‘em, five interceptions.
The Bengals put a licking on the Vikes who are starting to look more and more like the familiar Yikes of the past.

Panthers 27, Patriots 17

How bout them Panthers!
I have to brag, I called this upset. The Panthers stunned the defending Champion Patriots with effective defensive play in spite of having Kris Jenkins out for the season with a knee injury.
The Patriots are still one of the best teams in the league, but if the Colts and Steelers continue to impress, the Patriots will be home on Super Bowl Sunday.

Buccaneers 19, Bills 3

How ‘bout them Bucs!
The Bucs are riding a shiny new Cadillac right into the playoffs. If the Bucs can keep rookie running back Carnell “Cadillac” Williams, running smoothly and powerfully, in a weak NFC, they could be serious contenders this season.

Bears 38, Lions 6

How bout them Bears?
I was completely shocked by this one! The Bears scoring 38 points? How? Defense that’s how.
The Bears picked off Joey Harrington five, count them, uno, dos, tres, quarto, cinco times. The Bears also kept the Lions from mounting any type of rush and held the Lions’ offensive talent to a mere 7 points.

Titans 25, Ravens 10

Remember the Titans? Apparently Jeff Fisher does as the Titans outplayed the Ravens on Sunday. The Ravens might be forced to toss Kordell “Slash” Stewart into the mix sooner rather than later.

Eagles 42, 49ers 3

My Niners were outplayed, out-coached and out of their league.
Next week’s game against the hated Dallas Cowboys may prove to be as difficult with the “No-Name” 49ers still seeking to find an identity without any clear-cut stars on offense. The 49ers defense is tough and resilient but will wilt under the strain of the offense’s lack of productivity. The Niners have to establish a solid running game, which looks ever more unlikely with Kevan Barlow as the starter.

Colts 10, Jaguars 3

The Colts have found a defense. Now they are truly a force to be reckoned with.
The final missing piece of Tony Dungy’s puzzle has been put into place and the Colts are now poised to take the next step, a showdown with the Patriots in New England on November 7 th.

Steelers 27, Texans 7

I’ve got Big Ben egg all over my face. I am surprised at how well the Boy Wonder has played this season. What in the world has happened to David Carr? The Texans gave offensive coordinator Chris Palmer his walking papers today and there may be more pink slips handed out before this season ends.

Rams 17, Cardinals 12

The Rams rebounded from their loss at the hands of the Niners to lay a little hurt on the Cardinal Sin team. The Rams have to protect Marc Bulger in order to stay ahead of the Seahawks in the NFC West or he will be a pile of mush by season’s end.

Seahawks 21, Falcons 18

The Hawks made a clear statement with this victory over the Falcons, containing Vick and banging him around.
If they can continue to win games with defense they can control the NFC West.

Jets 17, Dolphins 7

The Jets’ sinking ship was set straight and sent out to sea again. The fishing was pretty good and by the end of the day they had caught seventeen big ‘uns.

Broncos 20, Chargers 17

The ponies and bolts made this a very entertaining AFC West contest. The Broncos were impressive in a comeback win in the final seconds on the foot of Jason Elam.
Drew Brees made some costly mistakes and will have to improve his play or Brees will be pushed out by Rivers.

Browns 26, Packers 24

Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.
In Brett Favre’s worst nightmares he could never have imagined getting beat by the Cleveland Browns, at Lambeau Field.
Brett’s after game press conferences are becoming painful to watch. Why in the cheese-world was Mike Sherman given a contract extension?

Chiefs 23, Raiders 17

Two high powered offenses, a heated division rivalry, the Dandy Randy Moss, a stadium full of Raider fanatics, and a pulsating Black Hole, what more can a football fan ask for?
Well if you’re a Raider fan, you could be yearning for a win.
After two weeks of regular season play and with two losses to show for it the off-season moves, the addition of Randy, an improved defense and enough talent to field an NFL Europe team, the Raiders are still scratching their heads for answers.
Okay, I know what you Raider fans are saying, “it’s a conspiracy, the NFL hates us, the penalties are bull poop”, but as the wise men on ESPN say, “it is what it is”.

To make matters worse next week they head to Philly for a slow dance with the Eagles.

Giants 27 at Saints 10

The Saints played on a rare Monday Night double header, with the G-Men the visiting team and the Saints the home team.
Unlike last week’s upset win over the Panthers, this week the Saints took a step backwards.

Redskins at Cowboys

An old NFC East rivalry with two old dogs on MNF, jolly good show!
They jabbed and countered punched for over three quarters. The old school head coaches played an old-fashioned game of defensive football until the last 3 minutes of regulation!

The Redskins had simply been ineffective on offense and maddeningly uninspired on defense throughout the entire game. But, with less than three minutes in the game, and the score Dallas 13 - Redskins 0, Mark Brunell tossed two bombs to Santana Moss to stun the Boys lead the Redskins to a 14-13 win over the Cowboys.

Week two record: 5-11 Ouch!
Season Record 14-18

Week Three Picks - beat me at the Message Board
Falcons over the Bills - I'll take a gimpy Vick over a sound Losman
Panthers over the Dolphins - The Panthers should prevail
Bengals over the Bears - D-Fense!
Colts over the Browns - Is this the year of the Colts?
J-E-T-S over the Jags - Pent up Pennington vs. Limpy Leftwich.
Vikings over the Saints - Yikes can the Vikes be this bad?
Eagles over the Raiders - TO vs Moss, bombs away.
Packers over the Bucs - Bucs can control the game, but Favre will not go away.
Titans over the Rams - Titans defense will rock the Rams
Seahawks over the Cardinals - Seahawks could control the division
Niners over the Cowboys - my usual heart over head pick
Patriots over the Steelers - must see TV, Pats won't lose this one
Chargers over the Giants - Bolts,Brees, LT and D, need to show up!
Chiefs over the Broncos - a significant early season face off in the AFC West

Beat me at the Femmefan Message Board

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