99 Bottles of beer on the wall,
99 bottles of beer
by Ivette Ricco,
President of Femmefan.com
May 16, 2004
Quick Quiz:
Which sports franchise offered unlimited free beer
for signing up for season tickets?
-
-
Montreal Expos
-
Boston Celtics
- Cincinnati Bengals
-
Chicago Bulls
-
Tampa Bay Lightning
The answer is:
The Tampa Bay Lightning.
Who?
We know that Tampa Bay has the Bucs, recent
Super Bowl champs we also know that they have
nice weather, pretty ladies and buffed men.
But, they also have an NHL franchise, who knew?
What a stroke of genius. What a way to get those
fans in the seats.
What an absolute fiasco.
Picture This:
Two Tampa Bay Lightning Execs are were sitting
around their local drinking hole watching the Stanley
Cup Playoffs.
Exec #1: I don’t know why we aren’t getting
fans to the games. Ok, I know hockey isn’t really
a warm weather sport, and I know that we’re
a hell of a long way from Canada, but there must be
hockey fans in Tampa. But, we just have to find a
way to get the fans excited enough to buy season tickets.
Exec #2: Hell it’s not about the weather;
it’s about the mentality of these fans. They
want to party, morning noon and night. They want
to see hot chicks in thongs not guys in masks and
padding. Is there a way to feature mud wrestling
between periods? A little T&A could bring a spark
to this game.
Exec #1: Humm that’s not a bad idea. We could
create a party mood, and maybe we could get some
gals to skate around in bikinis, and maybe we could
have the players judge the mud- wrestling contest.
Exec #2: I think we’re on a roll, let’s
get another pitcher of beer and figure this out before
tomorrow’s meeting.
Four Hours Later:
Exec #1: Weeelll bud, I-I-I thin-k we’re
gonnnna make this workkk. Hiccup. I can’t wait
to talk to the bosssasss about this, ha, ha, ha.
Exec #2: Yep. What?
Exec #1: What do you mean what?
Exec #2: Oh I remember, we’re goona give
away free beer, yeah, that’s it! We’ll
be f------heroes!
Ah, but not so fast pardner.
MADD got wind of this brew giveaway and before you
could say Budweiser those execs were out looking
for new jobs.
“During the first Eastern Conference playoff
game between the Lightning and the Philadelphia Flyers
on Saturday, the St. Pete Times Forum's main scoreboard
advertised the offer. Those who paid $100 US toward
2004-05 season tickets were eligible for unlimited
free beer during the game. “
If you’re the average Joe or Josephine looking
to get a little more bang for your buck, this is a
tempting offer not necessarily because it conjures
up visions of frat parties and Animal House, but because
it means that the powers that be may might actually
like, I mean really, really like us! Sure, and my
ass ain’t sagging. Maybe it can be thought of
as a kind of peace offering to the fans from the greedy
sports machine.
Here you go fans, we’re throwing you a bone,
in the form of free brew, how great is that?
If you enjoy a beer or two while at a sporting event,
then you know that the offer of free beer is huge.
Last time I had a beer at a game I parted with $7.50.
I make a conscious decision to hold my stadium brew
to two glasses, and not a drop more. More than two
and I’m running back to the restroom every half
hour. More than two and the husband starts heading
for the exit.
The cost of beer at sporting events has given birth
to some very creative stealth-like ways of bringing
in your own brew. I’ve seen pouches sewn into
jackets, elastic sleeves in pockets, backpacks designed
to hold water for joggers redesigned for brew. Yes,
there is just no end to fan ingenuity.
But what were these Tampa Bay Lightning people
thinking?
"Why attach alcohol to a season-ticket plan?
It's almost encouraging people to drink more than
they should because it is free," said Sgt. Chris
Velar, who runs the Police Department's drunken driving
squad.
”About 25 of the 21,000 people at the game signed up for season tickets,
said team spokesman Bill Wickett. “
MADD said that the offer simply advertised irresponsible
behavior.
Ya’ think?
While everyone is pro-fun (notwithstanding the NFL)
alcohol and fun shouldn’t be synonymous when
marketing a sporting event to the masses. Should it?
Ever count the beer commercials during a sporting
event?
Hypocritical? Absolutely, because as we know alcohol
consumption is an integral part of the professional
sporting event experience. That is not to say overindulgence
is acceptable, but alcohol is a given at every stadium,
arena, and sports venue in the country.
The Lightning offered free taxi service, but how “un-cool” and
how “not-fun” would it be to have them
call you a cab as you left the stadium?
I suppose the Lightning thought they were back
in the 1940’s. A time when broads were broads,
and men were men, a time when being under the influence
was considered very cool.
Unfortunately for the Lightning, W.C. Fields or
Dean Martin are long gone. But if W.C. Fields were
still around the Lightning could have used him as
their season ticket spokesman and launched the season
ticket campaign with real aplomb!
From the mouth of a legendary drinker: W.C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that
I drink milk, a whittish fluid they force down helpless
babies.
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my
corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but
food and water for days.
Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life --
except drink.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear.
She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted
to her for.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Information from: Tampa Tribune, http://www.tampatrib.com
[Top] [Print
this Page]
